"It was with me all the time."

* It is entirely possible parts of this blog are a repeat. The emotion and thought in them pops up in my head from time to time.

The priest told a story this morning. My mom is the church secretary, and a lady named Claudia works part time to clean the rectory (that's parsonage to you Baptists), the church and the parish hall (fellowship hall, to you Baptists. In this case, a separate, detached building). The rectory is a two story home, probably built in the early 1900's. The first floor provides space for the business offices and the then-den & dining room act as space for small parish council (deacons) meetings. The second floor is the private living space.

The priest was looking for a screwdriver this week, and Claudia left a flashlight on his desk. Why he didn't just ask Mom to bring one back from lunch, I don't know. But anyway, he spent 3 days in that two story house looking for a screwdriver. After Claudia left him the flashlight, he used it to continue searching in all the nooks and crannies, drawers, doors, cupboards and closets. After spending 3 days looking for a screwdriver, a toggle on the flashlight fell open. Inside was a tool kit with screwdrivers. He had it with him all the time.

As he talked about how you can have G-d's love with you all the time, and not even know you have it when you're looking for it, I can't help but think of things in my own life that, looking back, I knew He put someone in my path (or in my way), without my even knowing it.

Many years back before I moved to 'the big city', I was introduced by a work friend to several people who would be attending a conference in Portland. I was going there, and it was my first time on my own and so far away. So she took me about a few weeks out to a meeting where she knew I could meet people who would be out there.

To one guy, John, she said, "He's going to ABA too." A few weeks later, we struck up a bit of a travelers friendship and I found his company enjoyable. One night I had gone to his hotel and we were leaving from there headed out on the town and he kept talking about the bars to which we were going to go. I figured out he meant 'gay bars' and I said, "I don't think I've ever been to the kind of bar you're talking about." He kept on talking and I repeated it twice. He stopped and said something like, "I heard you. Don't worry. It'll be fine." Turns out, it was fine. For the most part, a bar is a bar. There's beer and people looking to drink and smile. Not that big a deal. But he became my friend and I would sometimes call him from work and plan an outing, to spend a weekend night with him to go to a gay bar. All so new and experience to a young man who had just barely ever kissed a guy. He said to me one night a comment like, "I won't go far" and I said, "Why?" He said, "You're new to this. I'm not leaving you alone." Little did I know at the time, that it was in my best interest. Sure, a bar is just a bar, and I was well over 21. But I was in a new place and very naive. He knew best.

Some years later, I only half-heartedly was searching for a church home in this big city. Every thing seemed to be the same kind of option - very Baptist and unforgiving. Even the enlightened "modern service" church didn't feel particularly warm and inviting. I had been to one church with my friend Chaz, but it seemed incredibly gay and not so much a church as a social event.

Then two friends invited me to their church, and after several months of visiting, I finally just joined, without knowing what had taken me so long. It was within walking distance of my home. Literally, it would take me longer to get in my car and drive there than to walk there. I could see it clearly from the courtyard at my apartment. It had been there all the time.

Funny, sometimes, how He works.

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Added 4/29/08
I've thought about this part, only because I know they read the blog, and sometimes I understand how Noodle feels about blogging when people know you.

Just before I moved to Memphis, a lady was hired to work a one night gig on stage where I worked. I didn't see the point in it - we already had one emcee, plus me, and I didn't see the point. But there she was, just the same. I had dinner with her and her girlfriend and hit it off. She knew the part of town into which I was moving and offered to show me around if I drove up. So on her invitation, I drove up one night and had just missed the dinner with all of her friends at her favorite Mexican place. But true to her word, she and her girlfriend showed me the apartment building, and then we drove around looking for a new rug for her home.

I would soon move there, and she would be my first new friend in Memphis. Followed closely by one ~ ahem~ lady friend of hers sometimes called 'G'. Somehow, G turned into my running pal and she was on-call every time I got lost. "I'm at a corner with an Exxon and a Walgreens." Not much help, since they're on every third street corner it seems. But my favorite was discovering there was a gay bar "practically just down the street." And they had week night specials like karaoke and such. To which G replied, "Yeah, and you have to be at work at 9 in the morning." Mygawd she sounded like my daddy!

And for every single break up to come soon there after, there was G. Somewhere around here, I have a photo with First New Friend in Memphis and G and me on a patio celebrating the time when I saw Married-ExAffair-Guy and it didn't bother or upset me. It was cause for a celebration. I'll have to find that photo and scan it.

Anyway, they will probably cringe at the thought, and I probably shouldn't tell them, but I believe they are just another one of many examples of how He puts people in your life, maybe even in your way, when He knows you need them the most.
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* I would ask John sometime later how he knew I was gay. He said, "Kim said, "He's gay too." I laughed and replied, "She said 'He's going to ABA too.'"