D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

The word is ugly, whether spoken, whispered, yelled, sighed out or sung. It only seems to be inert, benign, in it's written form. But that's misleading. It's still the word that Tammy sang about.

In the past, when friends have gotten divorced, it bothered me mainly from a selfish point of view. Sure, sure, I hate for anybody's marriage to break up. You start out with hopes and dreams, and then 'forever' seems like it's taking such a damned long time. Usually I think they're pretty stupid for not realizing that exactly what they're complaining about is exactly what they wanted ~ 'It's monotonous' or 'It's not exciting' or 'You never. . . . ' Well, duh. What did you think would happen when you got married, got a mortgage, got kids and pets and bills? THAT'S exactly the stuff you wanted to happen, here it is. And really, can anyone be blamed if there's jobs and bills and mortgages and kids to feed and clothes to wash? Did you really think that you'd still go out on weekends, or have money for yourself to have fun? And what about your friends? Guess what, they probably did the same thing you do. That's why bridge and bunko groups are so popular. That's why people know the first day of deer season. It gives you an excuse to spend time with other adults who found themselves in the same spot you are in - and they go to escape it for a while. Always forgetting that this is exactly what happens. It's what you asked for, it's what you wanted.

So you think it'll change, huh, if you get a divorce? Sure. Believe that. You'll get courted again, or do the courting. You'll juggle the kids to have a night out and somebody will buy you a drink or vice versa. Maybe fall in love all over again. Then what will you do? You'll get a mortgage, a car note, have another kid. Whatever. And find yourself right back where you tried to get away from.

But you know, I don't pay their bills and they don't pay mine and I really seldom cared a whole lot. It would more likely bother me, the gay man, that they wouldn't fight for, they wouldn't work for, something they were given that I can't have. Sure, just go get a divorce. No big deal. Never mind that me and millions like me can not get that basic civil function. You know the one that gives spouses certain rights above and beyond all others? The one we are denied, so instead we have to get lawyers to write up lots of papers to protect us and our interests in the worst case scenarios. Powers of attorney, medical directives, etc. Things to keep 'family' from throwing us out should you become hurt or disabled. Things to keep your loved one in control, abiding by your wishes, should you become hurt or disabled. You get that for free, with a 15 minute ceremony and a ring you can buy for $100 at Wal-Mart. Go ahead, throw it away. One man's trash is another man's treasure.

But I understand, yes, I know, that's a very narrow minded view of the concept of marriage and the concept of divorce. I know there are plenty of good reasons to divorce. And quite frankly, I think "staying together for the children" is stupid. You can't play it that long. They figure it out. But then again, it's kind of like abortion. I have an opinion, but I'm certainly not ever going to be faced with the problem. So like I said, it usually just doesn't bother me much. usually

---

Now you can invite friends from Facebook and other groups to join you on Windows Live™ Messenger. Add them now!