Drive It Like You Stole It

So, my friend SO called me the other day. She has moved to San Fran, you know, with her boyfriend we can call "Cute Bubble Butt" white boy. She had left San Fran for a few days for a work convention/meeting on credit card fraud, when her boyfriend, "Butt" calls her and says, "My car is stolen. Oh sad me, and can I borry your car." * SO says, "Oh baby, I'm so sorry. But I'm not there, I can't help you, and yes you can borry my car."

So when SO gets home, he picks her up at the airport in her car and all is ..... well, not allright with the world, but at least she's home and her man is safe. Could be worse. She gets home, logs on and checks the bank and BAM! She's missing money out of her bank. The bastards had credit card scammed her. CREDIT CARD SCAMMED HER! And there she was at a convention about credit card fraud.

So this like a month ago right? So her Cute Bubble Butt boyfriend calls her yesterday and says, "The cops found my car, WITH the guy in it." So she jumps in her car and heads out to see with him. OK, so here's the deal, "he" is some well known drug dealer. SO thinks they must have gotten a tip because there's like a bajillion Acura's in San Fran, how in the world do you find ONE? So the Boys in Blue found him (SO reports the cops was HOT!) and they ask Butt to look at the drug dealer and say if he knows him. No. SO reports the car was FILLED UP with drugs and junk and guns and smelled of Black and Mild's and just the whole mix of drug dealing, gun running smells, it had a bullet ricochet dent and the seats are ripped and torn, PLUS it don't drive right.

So, Cute Bubble Butt had a sticker on the window that was a local favorite team of his, and the drug dealer had replaced it with a sticker that said, "DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT." Cute Bubble Butt took it off and said to SO, "What do I do with this?" She called me and was like, "I am sending this to you!" I can't wait to get it. Drive it like you stole it!