It was pure love.

OK, maybe not pure love. But 12 years ago, what in the world did I know about love anyway? I like to think of it as "a tragic love story" or "a romantic love story" or even "a story about unrequited love" or even "the bonds of society kept us from each other."

But to stop writing the blather and get on to it ~ several years ago I was going to a convention related to my particular area of work. "The" convention in my industry, it was my first and last time to go. The city changes every year, but very soon I am going to this year's convention. So as I've been preparing to go, working up certain papers, double checking the website for my appointments, double checking my travel arrangements, etc., my mind would occasionally flit back to that first convention.

I saw him from afar. Yes, from afar. That means, I saw him from a great distance off and fell in love instantly. He was handsome, oh so handsome, with a smile that was pearly white, and a straw hat. I can't remember the theme of the banquet, but I remember he was dressed in some type of casual/dressy outfit that included a hat. Whatever. Moving on.

A night or two later, I am going out with my newest pal John who had found all the gay bars and was telling me where were going ~ except he didn't know that I had only just barely kissed a boy the first time and had never been in a gay bar. So I'm standing in his room stuttering like an idiot, "I don't think I've been to the kind of bars you're going." I repeated it like 3 times before he said something similar to, "I get it. It's o.k." And we headed out. A few minutes later, we were in the hotel lobby and I see "him." Oh, he was as handsome close up as he had been from across the convention hall floor. And somehow, every single bit of my shyness welled up to take control of me, and yet, in that instant I pulled up every single bit of strength I had, walked over to him and said. . . . . oh, I don't know what I said. But I remember it being incredibly simple and lame. Some stupid business sentence . . . just something to utter to make contact. It may very well have been the last time I ever overcame my shyness. So John walks up and talks to us and a few minutes later he's saying to me, "Way to go!" and I'm still just shocked that I spoke to him. John said, "I told him where we're going tonight." Well, I didn't know if he was gay, str8, married, what. I had no idea.

To make a long story short, the three of us hung out several nights that week during the convention. I could bore you with the ridiculous emotions I felt that week, the youthful lust and such that was dominating my heart, or how I called work and convinced my boss to let me stay a few extra days at the convention "for the great networking."* But I'm sure that in my mind, it's much more romantic and sweet than it would actually read. I am going to settle for telling you this ~ at that time, I had kissed only 2 men and my other "experiences" were extremely limited as well. But this man was a gentleman, but he was also a great kisser.

So anyway, jump through time several years and I'm working somewhere completely different. Still remember him, but we lost touch. Life moves on, time passes. I come in to work one morning and a business card is on my desk with his name on it ~ his business card. Out of nowhere. Just, there, one Monday morning. Absolutely every Jr. High School type emotion I had for him renewed itself and welled up in my heart ~yes, and in my loins. So I sat there and just worked until finally the card explained itself. "Did you get that card?" said Debra. She'd been to a convention the week prior and had met him. He had said, "Really? I used to have a friend that worked in that area. His name was . . . " so there you go. I had been called his friend and he remembered me! Need more proof that it was pure love?!

So I find out what his travel schedule is and then convince my boss that I absolutely, positively, MUST attend a convention in Hershey, Pennsylvania. Hershey, Pennsylvania. Yeah, right. I even got lost between the airport and Hershey - serves me right for that big fat lie. This was still before the time of GSP systems. So I was using my cell phone to call work and telling people to figure out "where I am, because I am lost" from the signs I'm reading them. Ugh!

But there he was, in Hershey. Not quite the first words he said to me, but pretty close were, "My company booked us two to a room. Mind if I stay with you?" Uh, no. So again, he was a perfect gentleman, but still . . . . it was worth the flight and drive to Hershey.**

So then we lose touch again. I tried to send a holiday card every year or something and would usually get something in return. One year I called the last number I had for him and they said, "He's joined the seminary" and I laughed and said, "I think we're talking about two different guys. I'm talking about the cussing, drinking, smoking guy." Yea, that's him they said. But anyway, we exchange one letter and lose touch again.

So anyway, just for the fun of it, because I thought of him while preparing for this convention, I googled him. On the second page of google results, I found him. Yep, he's a preacher. At an open and affirming church that is affiliated with the same religion as my church. His photo looks similar, but he's aged, just like me. And from what little I've read of his blog and the church website, it appears that he has truly found his life's calling and work. And I'm glad.

I think that I like to know he's doing well, just because he really was a gentleman and a fun guy, at a time when that was exactly what I needed. And by time, I don't mean that week at the convention. I mean the bigger picture of what was going on in my life. My whole "starting to come to terms with myself" and all that drama that comes with it ~ I needed a fun guy who was good guy. And for that week, he really was. And looking at what he's doing with his life, maybe he has been all along.

*Years later, I would fess up to that boss. You know, in one of those fun "guess what I did back then" stories. She said she knew something was up, but really, it hadn't cost the company very much to rebook my flight and she was able to justify it just like I had, so she didn't really care.

** Somewhere around here, I have some photo's of us riding rides at the theme park. If I can find them, I'll scan one in. I don't think anyone could identify him from them. But I met at the same convention, through him, a handful of other business associates that I try to keep in contact with and who are great people. It really was a great week for me. Even if it was for slightly contrived business reasons. Oh, and here's something really funny - my boss at the time was J of J&Bubbles. Years later, I fessed up to him. He said he knew something was up all along but it wasn't his dime so he didn't really care.