Dancing on a cruise ship

alternate titles: "Turn your head and cough" or "I am my Mamaw."

I had a physical yesterday. Scheduled for the morning, I took great pains to insure my personal hygiene was as close to godliness as humanly possible. I had visions of a running on a treadmill and standing in a line of men, wearing white underwear, while someone said, "Cough." It turned out to be nothing at all like that.

Armed with results from bloodwork pulled two weeks ago, I was subjected to only the mildest of indecencies with "pee in a cup" and the standard height, weight, blood pressure routines. An EKG was in order, and though I had to wear a hospital gown for it, it was hardly an adventure. Over in minute. All rather disappointing, really.

However, the nurse practicioner was proud to report my miserable blood work results. On some test of 1 to 5 with 5 being diabetic, I am 5.5 On all other tests, I was consistently. . . not within the norm. High triglycerides, high bad cholesterol, low good cholesterol, high glucose, high blood pressure, and of course the obvious - high weight, body mass index, etc.

She had a sense of humor as I said, "I really want to scoot out of here without diabetes today" and she said, "I can't tell you that." She put me on 3 pills - and I swear I am becoming my Mamaw. Lipitor at night, blood pressure in the morning, and Bayer aspirin every day. Come in on Tuesday to have your blood pressure taken and come back in 90 days to have your liver checked.

Oh yea me. All those Lipitor commercials are running through my head ~ or at least all those drug commercials catering to the more mature: I see myself with silver hair dancing on a cruise ship, etc. I feel old, so very old.

I will fill the rx for Lipitor today and begin it tonight. This morning I'll take my blood pressure for the first time ever. With perilous thoughts of their dire warnings in my head, how for the first week or two I'll feel mild symptoms like "completely exhausted." Well isn't that just precious.

OK, OK, this week I'll start walking again. And I'll change my ways and eating habits.

Gotta go - I need to go take my blood pressure medicine.