Jeff

His name was Jeff. We met several years ago working at the same company and became friends, or at the very least, we enjoyed each other's company at work, and often laughed at the relationship ups and downs of one couple at work. He was a food and beverage guy, much more into the operations of running the department, but he could bake from scratch a mean cake guaranteed to make you think it's worth having diabetes.

Years would pass and my friend L would be working at a casino in California. She called me one day and said, "You won't believe who I work with, guess!" I would never have guessed him, but maybe I did. I mean, so many of us travel from place to place. So both of them having been here and knowing me, they ended up so far from home in California, and I was the only person they mutually knew. They made fast friends and L loved him tremendously.

Other moves happened, and time passes, and he ends up in Louisiana. L ends up in Biloxi. I'm still here. But on that week last summer, after I had a job offer and knew money would be coming in, I went to Baton Rouge. Jeff drove to Red Stick and met us, got in the truck with me & Chaz, and we drove and met L halfway. Spent the day shopping and eating.

Chaz and Jeff got along famously and decided that since they had the same days off, they would get together from time to time. But Chaz took a different job and left, and I did not keep in touch with Jeff. L has seen him once since that day.

She called yesterday morning, first to tell me she had heard he died, and to ask me to try and find something out from our mutual friends. Then she called back and had gotten in touch with someone at his place of employment. He had died of an apparent heart attack in his sleep a few weeks ago.

________I am saddened by my failure as a friend. I knew he was sometimes lonely, I knew I did a poor job of keeping up with his phone number, I knew I did a poor job of answering his emails. And he died in a city he did not like, without us knowing about it for weeks. There are other people I know who are just as guilty of not keeping up with him, but I am not responsible for their actions, only my own. I do not know when they think he died. It is possible he died in his sleep the morning before he was due back at work. But it his possible he lay there for 3 days. I'd like to think he had a wonderful 3 day weekend, whatever he had planned. But I think not. I'd like to send a card or memorial, but oh the arrogance of someone who did not know for weeks he had died to send a card now.

He was a good man. He deserved better from his friends. He deserved better from me.