Camille

I'm in love with a lady named Camille Collins.

Camille's alter ego and I met several years ago through a mutual friend. He's a heck of a nice guy. By that time, Camille had gone into retirement with just a very few public appearances.

Last night, she was part of a "retro" night at the night club where she performed. It's now a str8 bar, and I guess the new owner wanted a night for different clientele and is working to build up a Thursday night gay crowd. I got an email that Camille was performing at midnight, and just couldn't wait. I mean, I've waited near on 9 or more years. So yes, staying up til midnight on a weeknight was a bit of a stretch for me these days. I'm old, I admit it. I have the prescriptions to prove it.

But still, the lure of a drag queen is hard to resist for me. Always has been.

So there I am at quarter past midnight (gay time, you know they just can't start on time) and I'm loving every minute of it. Mind you, I'm working hard to just hang back. I'm almost 4 years with MyFella now and I'm not gonna screw that up. And honestly, much of the crowd was far too young and skinny for me. But still . . . there's nothing like a gay bar. The scent of all the men mingling in the air is a glorious thing. Oh, I had not realized how I miss it. Intoxicating. The furtive glances. The brazen open displays of arms and chests. The embraces man to man. The flirty stances. The not so flirty stances of those who make their showing as butch.

And then there's the performers. Camille was everything my heart and soul had hoped she would be. Extravagant. Brazen. Bold. Caustic. Flirty. From her first flowing dress, to the second appearance in the white body suit, to the Grace Jones solid black outfit in thigh high black patent leather Mistress boots. She was simply amazing, amazingly stunning, and all over the stage. Her lip syncing so perfect you'd swear she was singing live.

Oh, how I miss being gay! And oh how Camille was worth the wait!

Just wondering

why I keep having dreams that I'm a cylon from the Battlestar Galactica universe.

Great Aunt Ray

I miss you, my friend.

Angola Prison Rodeo

So several months back, a friend of mine found a magazine article about a prison rodeo in Angola, Louisiana. It's like the 45th year, and it happens every Sunday in October. There's an outdoor arena that seats like 7,000 and has an inmate hobby crafts fair.

So guess where I went this weekend? Yep - Angola!

So it was to be a friends weekend, but I wanted to do a little more. So I talked MyFella into going with me to see my favorite aunt and uncle. So we were kind of close-ish down there. Sunday morning the whole gang is up and on the way to Angola.

Rain or shine. No cameras or cell phones. And I hate that!

Oh, there came such a rain on our way as you have not seen. Rain just pouring down in sheets. Rain, rain, rain. And us way out in Louisiana.

But we make it - and it's everything we hoped it would be.

Except our seats sucked. They didn't just suck, they were lousy. About one inch away from just beng a scam they called seats. If you call and they tell you all they have left is "ground" that means with a effin hand railing in your face. And by in your face, I mean you can choose to have it at your nose, or lean under it and have it at the back of your head. Scam. But we paid for them and there we were.

Of course MyFella could hang upside down to watch a rodeo. And watch he did. Every minute of it. I really spent most of my time looking at the prisoners ~ uh ~ I mean the crafts. But we both had a good time.

We did learn that Angola, Louisiana is a long, long way from home. And it's best to just plan to spend the night somewhere. Because you're late getting out of there and it's awfully dark. And a long way from home.

But it's definitely something we would do again.

Text:

Her: Mary Johnson just told me what you said to Bill hoping he was gay - bahah

Me: I think Mary Johnson just told a lie. I have NEVER mentioned being gay to Bill. Never

Her: She said - when Bill was gettin married- he said to u - I have something to tell you - and u said -- 'that ur gay?'-- and he laughed and thought u were halarious

Me: (sent before the one above came in and was read) Bill made some comments several years back to me about his ex-wife's aunt possibly being Lesbian and I knew then not to ever talk to him about it.

I love Bill but I never.

Her: I see - i know u can't stand the b-- I just have to work w her

Me: He told me he liked his wife's aunt but that if he ever found out she was lesbian he would keep his kids from her. 'course that was over a decade ago and those kids are grown now.

But he did call me one day before he married this wife and since I couldn't use my regular line "you're pregnant?" I could have gone with "your gay?" So my bad for joking with him. I certainly didn't mean to imply I was coming on to him.

So you can tell Mary that explains why I never heard from Bill again so I guess we weren't friends after all.

He'll be the first one I had to write off. His loss because I'm great.

Her: No - not that at all - she said he loves u and think ur halaious - I am sure decade old opinion is not the same anymore -- she said he thinks highly of u

Me: I find it hard to believe Mary Smith said a nice sincere word about anyone much less me.

Maybe I am wrong - I am sure it's possible the adult parent Mary Johnson is different from the Mary Smith girl I knew in high school.

Me: And yes, I probably need therapy. (Laughing out loud real big)

Her: She did - really

Her: Ha

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine!

The "school nurse" (family nurse practicioner at the employee health clinic where I work) and I have had a tacit agreement for the past several appointments. She tells me I'm diabetic. I tell her I am pre-diabetic with some full diabetic tendencies. She tells me she wants me on metformin, and I tell her to wait. The last couple of A1C's were at a particular level and we kind of agreed if I would keep it there, we'd be o.k., she and I.

Well, today I get home and the lab results are in from the last test. It inched up one tenth.

The note said, "I'm ready to start low-dose Metformin whenever you are TO PREVENT OR AT LEAST REDUCE LONG TERM COMPLICATIONS OF DIABETES."

Well. Fine. Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine!

So I called the clinic and told them to fax a prescription to our mail order pharmacy, and "If they are at my house, I might CONSIDER taking them. But I'm not admitting to her that she's right."

"I know," he said.

So there's been this guy at work the whole time I've been there. Let's just call him Joe. Joe's a cute guy, in a brown-haired boy-next-door way. Lives at least an hour and 15 minutes away but said he likes where his kid goes to school so it's not worth moving any closer. Always speaks to people, always calls them by name. Because the nature of his job involves a lot of climbing in the ceiling, he can wear blue jeans every day and a polo type shirt. Honestly, his butt looks good in jeans. And like I said, he's super nice.

So the other day I'm coming in and he's going out and he stops me, shakes my hand and says he's gone. Got another job.

You're kidding?
No.
You're kidding?
No.

Seems he wasn't kidding. Had a good offer, our employer didn't counter, so he's on his way out. I told him I had worked for his new employer for 5 years and they head man was always very good to me, and I still have a few friends there.

Then I said, "So we're not co-workers anymore?"
He said, "No."
Then I said, "I hate to hear that. Because I'm gay, you're cute and I've enjoyed looking at you on the casino floor."
"I know," he said.
"How do you know?" I said.
"Because Angie told me one when when you walked by 'He thinks you're cute'."

So I promptly called Angie to relate the story to her and call her ugly names. She laughed. I laughed.

I'm gonna miss looking at him on the casino floor. Wistful sigh.

So a girl?

Email from MyFella: You are so the girl.. lol


The following was text you sent me... LOL

(Email from me, to MyFella, below)

I am totally excited.

Since I got a normal this weekend, I am going ahead and doing what I want to do, which is to try a hot stone massage. I mean, it’s all on the certificate, you know. So it’s fine to try something new.

Then Tuesday I am getting a pedicure. Last night I trimmed my toe nails just a little because they are kind of long. But you know I want to get my monies worth. So I didn’t trim them too much.

But I’m very excited. Very.

The Big Day

is here. How funny that I started celebrating on Friday night, and it's carrying on for 4 solid days. But today I turn 40.

I had lunch with two best pals at our Second Annual luncheon downtown at the Arcade Restaurant. And tonight I'm going to the Orpheum with another best gal pal to see A Chorus Line.

A good day. Good times.

Partied, Drank, Loved like a man half my age.

I'm not even sure where to begin. I'm not even sure words can describe it.

So about six months ago, MyFella decided he wanted to throw me a party for my 40th. I (not too aggressively) tried to talk him out of it. Then decided that some of my friends won't make it another ten years! So we went forward.

We knew what room and restaurant we wanted to use. I decided to use Evite because I didn't trust Facebook groups, even the private ones, to not let comments bleed out. And since we were paying for dinner, we needed to manage the invitations.

MyFella started scanning pictures out of my photo albums and emailing my friends for pictures. He confirmed the room and the menu. One of my best friends confirmed a flight in from Arizona. Another confirmed a drive in from about 3 hours away, and yet another from 4. Locals promised to come.

Then the big day happens. And truly, to have known about the party, I could not have been more surprised.

The DVD that he and his niece made came very close to making me cry. (My sister in law reports that even her husband got a little misty eyed.) The room was full of a variety of friends. The buffet was delicious.

The two biggest surprises of the night? A gal I love so much was able to get off work on a Saturday night to come - and she serenaded me 3 songs by acoustical guitar. I was speechless. Floored.

The cake, which we had agreed would come from a W-M that does very good cakes, was home made and hand decorated as Wonder Woman.

I can't even tell you the energy that MyFella put into this party. I can't tell you the joy from so many friends. It was a phenomenal rush that is carrying me over for days now.