Sunday, March 30, 2008

Just one day at a time,

MyFella had big winnings at the casino yesterday afternoon. A whopping $50, and it took him $30 to get it.

The best thing at "the home of the throwed rolls" was this cocky little number, wearing latex gloves and chewing on a toothpick the whole time.

Found out this week that a friend of mine is homeless. By the very definition of the word homeless, he is homeless. I confirmed through a call to a mutual girlfriend. "Yeah, he's homeless." A string of bad luck that included a heart attack has wiped out his savings, took his home from him, etc. etc. etc. and now he's living in a car. We did some fast foot work and we think think think he has a job offer, pending a background check. It's an hourly job, but it's full time and will come with benefits. So we have him ~ hopefully ~ with a job, but he's still homeless. He stays some with the mutual girlfriend, some. . . she doesn't know where. Come Tuesday, I'm gonna have him come "hang out" with me for a while. In my heart, I wanted to invite him over right away ~ in fact, I did but he decided to stay put to save on gas and his 'good clothes' were at the friend-girlss he wanted to wear for the job interview.

So I've had MyFella here all weekend and my best gal pal Red (L) is coming tonight. So like the friend-girl said, "He's been homeless a couple of months, a few more nights won't hurt." But I'm calling him tomorrow to check in with him, see if he's heard back from the job people, and to tell him to come over Tuesday. I have dinner plans on Tuesday, but he'll probably be glad to be under a roof, alone with a hot shower for a while. It's just hard to believe . . . well, no, it's not. But for one or two paychecks, I'm not far from it. I'm just young enough that I could end up somewhere, I would hope. Brothers, Mom's & Dad's, I don't know. But he's no spring chicken and twice divorced. So we'll just take it one day at a time.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Easter, past

A shamelessly indulgent post of Easter pictures from my mother's childhood picture album. They were easy to spot, as pictures weren't quite as common place as they are today ~ seemed every other page had me posing in what looked like 'new church clothes' so they had to be Easter.

and Easter comes!

Somehow, after a Good Friday that included the passing of my friend Jeff, and the very somber Tenebrae service at church, I somehow thought that my morning walk through the park would include flowers that were singing animated-Disney style, grass that would have magically turned from brown to green over night, gentle breezes of 70 degrees and sun with rays you could practically touch.

Well, it is a pretty day, but far from 70 and the breeze was cold. The picture doesn't do the flowers justice, I couldn't get good light with the camera phone and didn't want to slow down my walk too much.

In just a minute, I need to go shave and shower and try to find something to wear. Half my stuff is dirty, all my dress shirts are at the dry cleaners, the rest doesn't match each other. And somehow with my intent to experience Easter at my own church, I completely don't have any plans for Easter lunch. My Mom & Dad are 80 miles from here, so even if I drive there directly after church, Dad will have long ago filled his plate. It's really not a big deal, it's not like I don't have friends or something like that. I just don't have lunch plans. I may make something fun for myself ~ like maybe I'll go catch a movie, or I'll go to Picadilly and watch all the old people in the cafeteria. I bet Picadilly has, at the very least, decent food, if not good. I doubt an ounce of it is healthy, but that's o.k.

The church service was beautiful, and the sermon was a very uplifting one. Still no plans for lunch, and nothing on the Malco in which I'm interested. Sissy (Noodle) just texted me, and she and hers are headed home as we speak. At this point, even if I were to drive straight home, it would be 2:30 or so before I got there, and any/all Easter festivities would be over. So I shamelessly indulged myself in the Easter blog above.

I think I really will go to Picadilly for lunch. It seems like the corny kind of thing I would like to do. It's after 1 now, so by the time I get there, much of the crowd should have dissipated, right?
Well, my friends J&B(ubbles) just called ~ I was secretly hoping they would, but I didn't want to intrude on their earlier family event. Bubbles and I are baking a Splenda recipe cake for a potluck at work. One of my employees is genuinely diabetic, and two others are actively working on some health goals. So I thought I could buy a Splenda cake - no luck - so I've enlisted the help of Bubbles on baking one. She's about to go take a walk and I said I've had one for the day, but I could ride over and have another. I have to pick up eggs and Splenda on the way.

A tiny part of me really wishes I had gone after church. But like I said, my Dad would have already eaten by the time I got there, and I have no idea what the rest of the family had planned. And I am still flat broke. Just got paid, and paid the rent and a few other bills, and I am truly broke. So I need to watch the spending.

Had a very nice afternoon and the cake turned out fine. Well, it turned out O.K. Apparentl Splenda cakes aren't the same as regular cakes. It's really not sweet at all. But I am mulling in my head some creative ways I can make a low sugar icing ~ perhaps using fresh fruit and low sugar vanilla yogurt or something.

Mom said she cooked a pot roast in the crock pot last night, and she & Dad went to church this morning and sat down to Easter lunch. She said my brother and his family went to church with his mother in law. Mom is making me some new curtains for the bedroom, using some fabric that MyFella found at his W-M (empire of evil). Mom & Dad are coming to town on Saturday, and planning on bringing my oldest nephew. It will be good to see them.

Good weekend, Happy Easter, have a good week!

Saturday, March 22, 2008


to a Rambling Red Headed Step Child. I got your comment, thank you.

Bliss, I still lurk. I don't comment much, but I lurk.

Walt, great weight loss. I haven't gotten into podcasts yet, but I lurk you still.

Noodle, great design. Great. "with a hint of cheese." Love it.

Mexican Restaurant

Only in one of the many carbon copy Mexican restaurants can you find a glittery picture of the Last Supper framed by sombrero's and blankets. And what's up with the fat white guy, mid 40's, showing his underwear? Dude.

Friday, March 21, 2008


His name was Jeff. We met several years ago working at the same company and became friends, or at the very least, we enjoyed each other's company at work, and often laughed at the relationship ups and downs of one couple at work. He was a food and beverage guy, much more into the operations of running the department, but he could bake from scratch a mean cake guaranteed to make you think it's worth having diabetes.

Years would pass and my friend L would be working at a casino in California. She called me one day and said, "You won't believe who I work with, guess!" I would never have guessed him, but maybe I did. I mean, so many of us travel from place to place. So both of them having been here and knowing me, they ended up so far from home in California, and I was the only person they mutually knew. They made fast friends and L loved him tremendously.

Other moves happened, and time passes, and he ends up in Louisiana. L ends up in Biloxi. I'm still here. But on that week last summer, after I had a job offer and knew money would be coming in, I went to Baton Rouge. Jeff drove to Red Stick and met us, got in the truck with me & Chaz, and we drove and met L halfway. Spent the day shopping and eating.

Chaz and Jeff got along famously and decided that since they had the same days off, they would get together from time to time. But Chaz took a different job and left, and I did not keep in touch with Jeff. L has seen him once since that day.

She called yesterday morning, first to tell me she had heard he died, and to ask me to try and find something out from our mutual friends. Then she called back and had gotten in touch with someone at his place of employment. He had died of an apparent heart attack in his sleep a few weeks ago.

________I am saddened by my failure as a friend. I knew he was sometimes lonely, I knew I did a poor job of keeping up with his phone number, I knew I did a poor job of answering his emails. And he died in a city he did not like, without us knowing about it for weeks. There are other people I know who are just as guilty of not keeping up with him, but I am not responsible for their actions, only my own. I do not know when they think he died. It is possible he died in his sleep the morning before he was due back at work. But it his possible he lay there for 3 days. I'd like to think he had a wonderful 3 day weekend, whatever he had planned. But I think not. I'd like to send a card or memorial, but oh the arrogance of someone who did not know for weeks he had died to send a card now.

He was a good man. He deserved better from his friends. He deserved better from me.

They took me by the hand and led me to her

like characters from some 80's rock ballad. It was Good Friday in 1983. I can't imagine that my Mom & Dad let me not go to school, but there was some huge Baptist youth thing in Little Rock. And if it was Baptist, it had to be good. I went with my church.

Kevin and Ken are brothers. I've lost touch with them, but in 1984 was friends with them. Or at least friends at school. I would have just met them a few months before. Years later, I would remember the event, but not the time. She would remember it was Good Friday. She had gone with friends and their church.

In an auditorium in a large convention hotel in Little Rock, the two brothers found me with my church group, took me one by each hand, and dragged me to their church group to meet her. Sat me down in an open seat right beside her.

I don't know how long I stayed there. I'm sure it was incredibly awkward, amplified by the 9th grade-ness of it all. I'm not sure how we became friends, we lived in different school districts and went to different schools and pretty much lived apart.

Until somehow, one weekend, it snapped, and there we were, hanging out every weekend. I would go and get her or she would go and get me, and we'd spend the weekends dragging Cherry and doing whatever kids did in small towns.

We would be friends until about 1993. We had a . . . slight disagreement. . . . and did not speak several years. Then one day I came home on my birthday, hit "play" on the answering machine, and sunk to the floor. It was her voice wishing me a happy birthday. It was close to ten years. We've never spoken of it since, it's as if that period was just a time when we were too busy to call, and then one day one of us called.

We don't see each other so much now. We still live in different cities. We talk some, text some, etc. I ran into her in Target a few weeks ago by coincidence, she was in town spoiling her niece and nephew. We exchange holiday cards. On the morning of Good Friday, I had a text message from her. She should have received a card in the mail from me.

It's nice to know she's out there, reachable. And it's fun to remember how we met on Good Friday in 1984.

Good Friday

The Order of Tenebrae. The gospel of Matthew.
This service, too, was new to me. Not the scriptures themselves, but the focus on them, giving the actions leading up to the resurrection the same kind of emphasis as the morning of resurrection. Of course you know the story, you've read it and heard it. You know that the governor tried to set Him free but the crowd called for His crucifixion. You know soldiers cast lots for His clothes. You know a crown of thorn was placed upon His head. You know the cloth ripped in the temple. But somehow, in twilight on a Friday night, listening to the words spoken slowly, carefully, purposefully, as candles were extinguished, it seemed a much more powerful story.

I think the whole experience will make Easter morning a much more celebratory experience.

Maundy Thursday

In the Baptist religions of my upbringing, the texts of the last supper and the Garden of Gethsemane were somehow read Sunday the week before, as some milestone that had to be crossed in order to get to next Sunday when you could wear the new clothes your parents had bought.

As the Easter season came upon us this year, I was intrigued by the idea of services that focused specifically on the time just before the crucifixion.

I was a little put off by the idea of a mass foot washing, but the lady who makes the announcements suggested with a smile we "get over it." So, I went to Maundy Thursday services.

The only way to explain it is a poor explanation: The intent of the service was to experience the humble action of washing another's feet. The focus of the service was not on the experience. I don't know if I can explain it. There were 3 stations and a small crowd, and an orderly method of taking turns. So for an hour long service, the foot washing was just a small portion of the service.

It was a beautiful service. Beautiful in song, and in the lay readers reading of the passages. It was nice the way they organized chairs in a section of the auditorium, so the people attending had a more intimate setting.

I think I like this way of observing the days that led up to Easter, of recognizing what was going on before jumping up on Easter day with chocolate bunnies.

Monday, March 17, 2008

The Patio, Revisited

The first call of the season came tonight. I argued with myself over missing New Amsterdam, but decided to go back to the old stomping grounds. It was a nice night, and I probably won't have any life altering event over missing a one hour drama episode.

Sunday, March 16, 2008


It was a very nice weekend for the most part. MyFella got a little ornery sometimes, I don't know why. He's just like that some weekends. He'll do the oddest things, like be so sweet and suggest we eat at my favorite restaurant I know good and well he hates, but then he'll just be fussy over going to church. I can't even explain why he dislikes my church ~ it's odd just saying it, much less writing it. And he bought me as a surprise gift an area rug for this living room. Anyway, his ornery side aside, we had a good time.

Saturday night, we took my friend Tamme to the theatre to see Tennessee Williams' play about the Iguana hotel, or whatever it's called. For all 3 of us, it was our first time to see a Tennessee Williams play. I think we all decided that we liked it, we certainly enjoyed the production, but somebody should have told ol' Tennessee that if can be said in 3 minutes, there's no need to take 9 to say it. That character of the defrocked priest/travel guide rambled waaaaaaay too much.

The granddaughter/grandfather team were easily identifiable as scam artists from the start, but I enjoyed the granddaughter's style.

And the 'lady manager' of the hotel, I could fall in love with her. And never begrudge her the beautiful night swimmers. Perhaps I envy her. But if I can't be her, I'd love to be her closest friend.

Today was just a nice day (aside from his attitude about church) and we joined T&M at Soul Fish (with he and I visited twice this weekend and it seems to be his favorite place in town, note to self).

There's really not much to say.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Stress Induced Paranoia

or perhaps paranoia induced stress. Also titled "Thanks to my old friend . . . "

You know the last couple of weeks, my boss has been hammering me over the sales and numbers in my department. She and I have talked a few times about the nature of selling to the tour & travel industry, and it's just not an instant gratification market segment. I need buses, and I've hit every convention I could since I got there. I've done mail outs.

Anyway, another department that had a lot of our hotel rooms walked ~ the whole department. So a lot of their rooms got cancelled and the big "they" started calling my boss wanting her to pick up the slack. Only if you know much about corporate sales, they tend to book their conventions a year in advance. We do have some people who work on short-term or last minute sales, but those are. . . well. . . last minute. You can't have it both ways - short term is short term and a year out is a year out.

But I digress ~ my friend, we'll refer to her as "A" has always been someone who likes the drama, the flotsam and jetsam of meetings and politico office workings. In her sense of friendship, she's been trying for weeks to get me in her office to tell me what she's 'heard' about me and our lack of bookings. I've been telling her I don't care to hear it, because I've already spoken with my boss face to face. But this week "A" was 'separated' with a severance package, and in my attempt to offer her support, she started rambling it all out before I could shut her up.

Which created about a 3 day rolling paranoia that just became overwhelming by yesterday. I was convinced my boss was walking in any minute to fire me. I was convinced that she was not taking my calls or returning my emails and they were all to "distance" herself from me. As my paranoia reached new heights yesterday, my friend "Huffy" told me to go in her office and and confront my boss.

Well, that went well. She was furious that people were gossiping about her and her department and she said that only she, her VP and a woman named Barbara "in Revenue" would know anything about any potential firings in her departments. ("A" said she'd heard these comments in a "revenue meeting"). But that no, there was no talk of firing me. Then she called me a name like "doody head" or "dork" or something.

Then Huffy told me she was mad because I wouldn't give up my informants name and why since "A" was separated this week. I said "I was just waiting to make sure A got her severance before I dimed her out." But Huffy had already dimed "A" out. So it doesn't matter.

Admittedly, the whole of this was my fault. I'm darned near 38 years old, I've worked in my business for over 12 years and I know good and well about gossip, gossipers, and human nature. I am not in control of whether or not people gossip, but I'm in control of how I let it control me. And I failed myself miserably. I think it was the weakness of knowing there was some small seed of truth in our lower numbers that allowed it to take hold of me.

But there you go - and that's why I felt I needed some Molly's last night. I am positive that beef fajita nachos covered in white cheese dip set back my low cholesterol, low fat, lose weight ideas by a week. But I sure did feel better.

MyFella is rolling out an area rug in my living room he bought me as a gift. It's perfct, just exactly what I wanted. He found it on sale at like a Fred's or something. It's the colors and pattern style I wanted.

Good morning, and good weekend!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Today isn't April 2nd,

it's March 13. Imagine my surprise when my brother called to tell me today is our mother's birthday. Whooops. I felt like crap. Mom said not to worry, she was getting too old to worry over stuff like that. But still, my own mother. I should have remembered and I should have sent a card and I should have called her.

Reports are that my nephew(s) are loving having a t.v. at their grandparents. The oldest says "You didn't want it, so it's ours." I said, "uh - it's mine. I sent it down there. It's still mine." But I was not using it like I thought I would, so I'm glad they're using it, and I think it eases up the tension some. If the kids can watch cartoons some, and Grandaddy can watch his news some, then everyone is fine. They say there are notes on the door like "Stay Out" and "Private." Too funny. I think I'll make some for my next trip home and hang them up in there too.

Had a wonderful dinner with 'sandra tonight. A very pleasant surprise. Her kids are gone with her husband to his family's so we had dinner and shopped for the daughter's First Communion dress. I intend to tell the young lady that her Uncle Mike picked out her dress. Her Mom said she'll be furious that we went to the mall without her. And she's a second grader!

MyFella's coming this weekend and I'm looking forward to it.

There's an odd amount of work related drama, and I know this company is a real number cruncher. I've advised MyFella that, with the low numbers in my department, I could be headed for a handshake and point towards the door. But I can't change it either way. I did, if not my best, still a very good college try. It's a tough market right now, my particular area of expertise is not instant gratification, and it caters to a retiree market. You tell me if it seems normal for gas to be over $3 a gallon, people to be talking about a recession, and you want to act surprised when people retired, on a fixed income, or living off interest from stocks and bonds, don't want to come to a casino as much as they did a few years back. Bah humbug.

All that really matters is MyFella will be here all weekend.

Monday, March 10, 2008


My cousin, the one I share with Noodle (if I knew how to do the links, I would link to her) did some drunk-dialing tonight. It was 4a.m. in Iraq, and he needed advice on something to do with a transsexual. And just for the record, it's not even anyone he knows. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I don't really know that many transsexuals. And I know nothing about the military. We stumbled through that conversation rather badly, and then he took to talking to me about my weight and telling me that he gets up at 4a.m. to run. Rather convenient since his time, it was 4a.m. and he was still up and drunk.

Gawd I love that boy.

P.S. A dear friend sent me season 1 of Torchwood on dvd. Tonight's episode, at the very end, had Ianto suggesting to Jack that he wanted to spend some alone time with him. Wishful sigh.

Saturday, March 8, 2008


Well, for us Southerners, it was quite the winter snow storm. I was at MyFella's when the sleet started falling about 3:30 or so. I had already made one run for the day to W-M, but insisted on a second to get a book just in case of the storm, but the selection was woefully lacking. About 4:30, his parents called to say they were going into town to eat. So we decided to go meet them. It was a consensus that it just wasn't cold enough to stick. That or we were just stubborn enough to go out in it. By the time we left the restaurant about 6:30p.m., the snow was coming down like rain and was accumulating on inanimate objects. On the way home, with the headlights shining into it, it was pretty in that "I wish we weren't driving in it" sort of way. The morning brought us a snow covered vision that is seldom seen in our neck of the woods. But by noon, the warm temperature and sunshine had melted most of it away. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.


Friday, March 7, 2008

Tires & Stuff

In the past, I've bought tires for $100 a tire. I would search and search the big city, but always found an equal or better price in my hometown from an old pal of mine. $400 to get tires on. Geez. So this time, MyFella's brother bought the tires for me from someone who sells tires (they swore they are not stolen) and always gives him a break. Apparently the whole family has tires bought from this guy. $272. Then MyFella sent me to the local co-op who put them on for $35. Total. So for $307, I got a new set of tires and was finished by 8:30a.m.

I took a vacation day today and am making myself a long weekend. MyFella's taking off at lunch today. Sometime tomorrow* I will drive back home. My brother and his wife are coming to town and spending the night with me, in advance of her 8a.m. Sunday flight. I live ten minutes from the airport. They live more like 80 miles from the airport. They tell me they will be in town in time for us to have supper or something together. 'course they don't sometimes eat til 10 o'clock. So who knows.

The weather is forecasting snow, and here I am in the rural area without so much as a good book to read. While I would like to see snow, I would also like to have a good book or be at home or something. But being snowbound with MyFella wouldn't be so bad. He's got plenty of food and internet. I may run in W-M and buy a paperback "just in case."

I took Jamie 'to work' this morning. It was kind of funny, MyFella had to drive there in front of us because I didn't know where it was located. So there's me and Jamie riding along and sometimes at a stop light we'd wave at MyFella. Then just before we got there, I said, "Is this where you work?" and he said "Yea, turn here." Great. Thanks for the help man.

We'll probably go to his most preferred locally owned place for lunch. It's usually clean and if it's not, you know it's because you came in the middle of the rush. I'll be able to find some kind of grilled chicken or something on the menu, so I'll be fine. I think I'm saving one of my Diet Cokes for the day for lunch. I've put myself on a 2 a day limit and it seems to work just fine if I don't think about it too much.

Good day and good weather to you.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

General Posts

I have casually told myself to quit posting just for the sake of posting. I've told myself that daily minutae (I'll have to check my spelling on that word) isn't interesting, nor is it really how I want to use my blog. So there may be fewer blogs for right now.

Having said that, here is a general rambling just the same: I am in my hometown. I rolled in for a memorial service. If you remember "that cousin" mentioned a while back (I have no idea how to go back and link to that post), his MIL passed away and the memorial service was yesterday. Apparently he no longer lives with his wife and kids. He instead lives with his girlfriend and the two year old they share. His children openly call him "the biggest manwhore alive." My mother openly dislikes him for something that happened during the funeral of his mother (stepgrandmother that raised him) and daddy still openly dislikes him. However, both his wife and her brother have been friends for years. Though I never knew the woman, I think they appreciated my presence at the memorial service yesterday. And let me first say that the service was very nice, and very respectful, and was something along the lines of what she had wanted, I still find it odd it was held in the little meeting room of a local restaurant ~ complete with after service snacks of chicken tenders, onion rings, fried mushrooms, cheesesticks and fried pickels.

Last night I took the second grader nephew to our regular visit, and the bereaved came over as well. I wanted to ask her "Do you plan on leaving your husband or just putting up with this crap?" but I figured I wasn't the first person to ask and it was really none of my business. My nephew had fun, as always.

The two year old is giving me some time finally. Says my name and plays with me. I'm happy about that.

I hate my cell phone. I've waited too long to return it. Word of advice: Don't buy the refurb deals off the AT&T/Cingular website.

Did I tell you that My Fella and I had a fabulous weekend last weekend, even including the part where we moved his sister out of the home of her now-failed marriage. There was some minor drama on Saturday night and I gave both MyFella and his sister a good cussing for allowing it to happen. They just HAD to keep hauling crap out when they didn't have to. Ugh.

Nephews just walked in, so I'm gonna go. I may update it later.

Dancing on a cruise ship

alternate titles: "Turn your head and cough" or "I am my Mamaw."

I had a physical yesterday. Scheduled for the morning, I took great pains to insure my personal hygiene was as close to godliness as humanly possible. I had visions of a running on a treadmill and standing in a line of men, wearing white underwear, while someone said, "Cough." It turned out to be nothing at all like that.

Armed with results from bloodwork pulled two weeks ago, I was subjected to only the mildest of indecencies with "pee in a cup" and the standard height, weight, blood pressure routines. An EKG was in order, and though I had to wear a hospital gown for it, it was hardly an adventure. Over in minute. All rather disappointing, really.

However, the nurse practicioner was proud to report my miserable blood work results. On some test of 1 to 5 with 5 being diabetic, I am 5.5 On all other tests, I was consistently. . . not within the norm. High triglycerides, high bad cholesterol, low good cholesterol, high glucose, high blood pressure, and of course the obvious - high weight, body mass index, etc.

She had a sense of humor as I said, "I really want to scoot out of here without diabetes today" and she said, "I can't tell you that." She put me on 3 pills - and I swear I am becoming my Mamaw. Lipitor at night, blood pressure in the morning, and Bayer aspirin every day. Come in on Tuesday to have your blood pressure taken and come back in 90 days to have your liver checked.

Oh yea me. All those Lipitor commercials are running through my head ~ or at least all those drug commercials catering to the more mature: I see myself with silver hair dancing on a cruise ship, etc. I feel old, so very old.

I will fill the rx for Lipitor today and begin it tonight. This morning I'll take my blood pressure for the first time ever. With perilous thoughts of their dire warnings in my head, how for the first week or two I'll feel mild symptoms like "completely exhausted." Well isn't that just precious.

OK, OK, this week I'll start walking again. And I'll change my ways and eating habits.

Gotta go - I need to go take my blood pressure medicine.

Riddle me this, Batman

What do the three drugs Lipitor, Lisiniprol and baby Bayer aspirin have in common?

All 3 were prescribed to me for the first time yesterday!