Thursday, August 28, 2008

Relationships & Quick Reactions

I have GOT to learn how to hold my breath when MyFella is talking about his family. Which is mainly due to my not understanding that when he is talking to me about them, he's not actually wanting my input. And I tend to give my input loudly. I knew when he said, 'I am hanging up now' that it was best to let him do so, because I had crossed the little line. Worse, what I said wasn't clearly phrased to match what I meant. So it was just a big ol' jumble of a hot mess.

It's better now, and I'm going to keep trying to work on it. You know, I've never dated one person continuously for this length of time. There was the guy I dated off and on for 4 calendar years, but we only dated in increments averaging 4 months. We were never particularly close - although for all the emotion and drama and baggage at the time, you would have thought. . . . .I don't know what you would have thought. I could have starred alongside Sally Fields in some Lifetime movie for all the carryin' on we did. But this is different - two guys, one relationship, consistent and continuous. Now that takes some getting used to! Sigh.

MI-5 & Netflix

Completely ignoring Noodle's advice to not get invested in any of the Mi-5 characters, I have been horribly upset over the loss of Tom Quinn. Even more so, I'm upset at the way he went down, and Harry's utter failure to believe in him when Harry seems to be a loser himself. On top of that, whoever played them, included Tom's most recent love interest, a lovely blonde CIA agent from the U.S. Her heart is broken, her career ruined, Tom's reputation destroyed and he is dead, and Harry will undoubtedly come out of this unscathed. The prior two episodes did a good job of cajoling me into a strong dislike of Harry and Tessa. Yes, yes, I still liked Tessa even though she was apparently a big ol' liar scheming away tons of money with false agents. But I liked her until the Colombian girl died. I was already bothered over Harry's cover up of his briefcase loss while continuing to act sanctimonious. But the loss of Tom like this is just upsetting to me.

I am still annoyed at Netflix. After suffering with all their other customers through the loss of a week's worth of shipments, I call them to figure out what's up with my MI-5 dvd. It sat at the 'shipping today' spot for days, then jumped back down to first spot in the que. The boy on the line told me that dvd was very popular and the shipping trouble had kept the system from really knowing how many were available. As an apology, he popped out another dvd of mine, supposedly. But not really. So I had dvd's out of a series coming in a completely wrong order while that first one continued to sit there. The bam dastards. So now I know how Tom Quinn dies at the end of the season, but there's still two episodes from earlier in the season at the house to watch. Ugh!

In a vain attempt at hope for Tom Quinn (who, and I swear this to you, I dreamed about night before last), I went ahead and added season 3 and popped dvd 1 to the top. Then snuck a peek at the box top. No Tom Quinn. But that damned Harry is right there on the cover. Oh why could he not have died?

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Broke Down Mountain

I don't know what went wrong, but somewhere between going to work and getting to work, my lower back started killing me. I knew with the weekend coming there was no time to dilly dally and called the clinic and got a 1:30pm appointment, for which they did not see me until almost 2:30 and gave me some lame excuse about charts, blah blah blah. I left there with a shot in my butt that was supposed to relieve pain and inflammation and 800 milligram pills of Ibuprofen and some muscle relaxer.

Last night, I had dinner with my friend Red and her best pals M&Somebody. M is bald, gay, a hair dresser, and fabulous. And Somebody's name I can never remember. But two margaritas gave me more relief than I felt all day. Before falling into bed, I took my pills and fell fast asleep until 6a.m.

Between 6a.m. and 7:30a.m. I struggled heartily to get out of bed and pee. It was beyond painful. A little after 8, Red had found a chiropractor who was open, and after a useless call to the insurance card #, I just went on. I needed help.

The pain is now tolerable, in part because I keep moving and try not to over do it, but also try not to get stiff. It could be a combination of the drugs settling in as well as the chiropractic visit. I am taking another set of pills at 3. Let's hope that does well for me.

Ooooh that was a mistake. Using the only position the doctor said provides relief off that area (on back with feet against the wall), I stayed there with the ice pack about an hour. Getting up ~ uh, a total beotch again. Lost all the ground I've gained. Got a feeling tomorrow morning will be a total beotch too.

11:30p.m. and I just took the pills. I think I'm going to try and support my lower back with some towels or pillows, and sleep in the recliner. I don't know that it'll be good for my back, but it can't be any worse getting up in the morning.


Thursday, August 21, 2008

General Blog

Just a little catch-up blog.

MyFella is all upset over the goings-on in his family, including just finding out that his ex-brother-in-law from a very recent divorce to MyFella's sister left her name on some, uh, rather demanding documents financially. Sister apparently didn't read well, hired a cheap attorney, or was just rather stupid about some things coming out of the divorce, and got a call this week that the ex dropped over dead in his truck. . . leaving her rather screwed. Idiot didn't even use Credit Life on these fairly substantial matters. So he's dead and she's screwed. Word from dead guy's son in law is the family has gone completely mad, white trash, fussing and fighting, etc. and it's bound to spill over to Sister when they come looking for some of his crap he didn't take care of. And MyFella's all upset about it. We talked with my attorney friend last night who gave a little bit of advice, most of which involved 'Run to an attorney TOMORROW!'

I'm trying to last minute plan using a 2 night gift certificate in Pigeon Forge that expires next month. I think we'll end up having to take two days off during the week, because our weekends are just booked with festivals, ball games, visitors, etc. But I do hope we get on up there for a get away. I've had the certificate for near a year. Shame on me!

Red is coming this weekend, and I'm being included on emails regarding a Bunco game. Lawzy, but I do hope I'm just being included as an f.y.i. and not as an invitation. I've been to their Bunco games, and they just get mean.

The parents are coming to town next weekend. Mom's asked me to take them to lunch and then take her to shopping. Dad's got his own itinerary after lunch, and she's pleased to let him go do his own running around. We usually go to the same restaurant (it' right around the corner from Noodle's house). It's locally owned home cooking and it's usually good. For MyFella, I've put it out on the table. MyFella can take the weekend off and save gas if he chooses.

I had the nicest surprise night with Noodle (I really should take the time to learn how to link) and the Urchins. No great photo's. I called Noodle on the way home from work. Noodle invited me to dinner and she was making bbq chicken, fried squash (double yum!), pasta, toast with fresh sour dough bread (yum!) and left over green bean casserole (which has recently become a total fave of mine!). I asked about Skeeter and he was going to be late, which was going to keep her from going to a home schooler's meeting. To me, a home cooked supper is more than fair trade for keeping my own godchildren a couple of hours, so after supper I shoo'd her on out the door. Sass and I read a few books and then she played on the Wii fit. Spyder played outside. I declined the invitation to climb into his well hid hideaway, but only because I was wearing work pants. I've promised to accept the invitation when I am in jeans or shorts next. Skeeter showed up only about an hour later, and I headed home to do my walk.

Oh, yes, and I lied on a document last night. Joining a local gym, I really only wanted to walk for a few minutes with a friend of mine. Stupid enough to answer a survey truthfully, they wanted me to get a doctor to sign some document. So I marked through my answers, changed them, initialed them, and went for my walk. They have an olympic sized swimming pool (not quite the Chinese birdnest, but still quite nice) so I think if I go back at all, it may be to get wet. I love to play in the water. But the gym is more than a bit out of my way. So while I don't feel guilty for lieing, I also doubt I'll return any time soon.

Weather's been cooler and I like it. Still have tiny bugs in my apartment. I've got some tacky fly strips up. MyFella says there's something called Dairy Barn Spray at Tractor Supply that will wipe them out, but that's a fair drive to the nearest TSC. I may try to get out there this weekend.

Just finished my morning Diet Coke. OMG, they're so good cold out of the can. **Walt, I envy you the ability to go cold turkey and stay off them. Truth is, when I try to go to zero, I end up craving them super bad and go back on them in like a month's time. But I found if I limit myself to two a day, it's easy to do, especially during the week. It's a little harder on weekends because I am more likely to be in a restaurant and order a Diet Coke and get a refill. But since weekdays often pass with just one, I feel like it evens out.

Oh well, back to work.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Hot guy

When I saw him, it reaffirmed my belief in things greater in me, and it reaffirmed my belief that I am truly gay.

OhMyGawd. Obviously, from the 3 pics in my camera, I tried desperately to get a good pic of him, including a brief sojurn through the store stalking him. He was/is tall with dark hair, and had sort of a 'frat boy from hell' look. Frat boys aren't built like this. Frat boys don't have tats like this. Frat boys don't wear ripped and shredded shirts like this.

He had on the typical popular basketball shorts, they were sagging just a little or his boxers were riding high. They were visible because he had his shirt absolutely ripped. The front seemed full, but the back was thin, maybe an inch across, and the sides were missing. He has a ripped body and tats on his left shoulder blade. You know that gasp when you see a guy like that, the way your heart starts pounding, the way thoughts of sin and flesh and desire fill your mind and body. I had sin in my heart. I coveted him. Oh my.

He walked out of the store ahead of me and jumped into another store. So I viewed the parking lot and decided the white truck was probably his. I moved my car (how gay is that! or stalker? you say stalker like it's a bad thing) to get a better view. My litte razer phone didn't do me well in a need to take a fast pic, but I was surprised at the little car this tall guy into. And leaned over to roll down the window.

Sigh. What a pretty sight on a Sunday afternoon.

Three Musketeers

It turned into a weekend I'm calling a Three Musketeer weekend. Just us guys. Went where we wanted, did what we wanted. Well, sometimes Jamie said, "I'm not going" but he went anyway. I think Jamie sometimes likes to put his foot down on principle, just to show he can.

Friday night, I had talked with a few different sets of people about joining us, and 1 family made other plans, and another texted us that she wouldn't get there in time so she'd see us on Saturday. For some reason, that just set me off and I told MyFella I had no intention of doing anything with her. I guess probably because I knew, in my heart, she's always someone who cancels and never calls back anyway. On Thursday night, a friend called and said she wanted to see us, but she could only see us on Saturday because "I go to estate sales every Sunday." Well, I've heard that before, and good for you, but two times in a row to tell me you "go to estate sales every Sunday" is just one too many. I'm not sure why that hit my raw nerve. After all, she called and wanted to see us on Saturday. And in the past, I've locked out Monday nights for Margaritas for over two solid years, and currently I have standing supper & tv on Tuesdays with J&K (but grant me this one, if someone wants to feed you every single week, would YOU gripe about which night? besides, for half the year it's A.I. night). But anyway, I had no intention of giving up time for her either. Though I don't really understand why I was annoyed at her so.

But looking back, we ended up with a very nice, very rare 3 Musketeer weekend. Church and lunch today at my favorie pizza place. It's good (the thin crust, so if you like it N.Y. style you won't care for it) and inexpensive and they're generous with the toppings (hormel brand meats, the sign says). They got real busy real fast today, just after we arrived, so the waitress went from being fun and funky to being just lousy.

Just a good weekend all around. No relatives, no schedules or time tables. It was cool.

On other fronts, related and not:
I have a renewed interest in the Wizard of Oz and just checked the book out from the library (it's a shame that I'm an adult and had trouble finding the book!). I'm also confused about the apparent lack of Dorothy in Wicked. I'll have to review that, or ask somebody if she shows up later somehow.

These damned flying insects in the apartment are bothering me. MyFella insists they are in his home too and more to do with the season than my plants.

Netflix has been a bother, but they swear they are sending things out now.

Secret postcards today made me cry, the story about the wedding proposal. Brought a tear to my eye.

Red is coming this weekend and bringing her dog. She thinks my apartment is pet friendly. I would rather it not be, but there you go. In the end, he doesn't bother me too much. In a few weeks, for C-Y Festival, both she and Chaz are trying to come home. I already called Chaz to see how he'll be if I skip out part of the day. MyFella wants to go to the university to see his favorite niece march in her last football game. MyFella and I have come up with a plan to compromise the weekend so we both get part of what we want, but I thought Chaz would have every right to be annoyed if he made it all the way from Vegas and I leave town. He said it was fine with him, that I'm in a relationship now and have to make compromises. Besides, plenty of people are willing to fill up his time.

Good Sunday to you! Oh, and here's a pic of the 3 musketeers. It was taken by the waitress and the light is way-tha-f off. Ugh.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Saturday afternoon

We were headed out to the cheap theatre to watch the latest Narnia movie when I made the comment, "It's such a pretty afternoon, I hate to spend it inside." MyFella said "As much as I'd like to see it, we can rent it on Netflix." Then we stopped for lunch at Krystal's, and went out to an "Indian festival" he'd heard about on the radio.

Turns out it's "from India" Indian, not natives to the American continent. But he said he knew that. Anyway, we enjoyed it, I think, it was cerainly different. Let me tell you what I don't get: all, and I mean almost every single one, of the women are beautiful. The men, however, are a different story.

Those darned bugs? Yeah, they're still here. MyFella has offered to take the plants back to his place and put them on his porch until the darned bugs die. I swear, bugs are not supposed to live this long.

Right now we're watching the Superhero movie, which is a horrible spoof off of Spiderman. Not even a good spoof so far.

Oh well.

The Wizard of Oz

The beautiful Orpheum Theatre downtown has a summer movie series, and last night was the classic with Dorothy, the Scarecrow, Tinman, Lion and all the rest. At my suggestion, MyFella and I had a Three Musketeers night (him, me and Jamie). It was great fun, and we think Jamie really enjoyed it. But then, so did the two of us. It was a full house, and at the suggestion of Red we got there early. When we got in, it was quite empty, but the entire auditorium filled up, with the standard many one and two spaces that humanity tends to leave in crowds like that. So there were plenty of people looking for seats they couldn't find, even though there were plenty of seats to be had.**

The movie starts in sepia, although my memory is in black and white. The brownish tones were a surprise to me (though a bit of reading on Wikipedia cleared that up). Here's the biggest thing from the eyes of an adult:

Glenda the good witch, she's really a bit of a bitch. First she gives shoes to Dorothy knowing good and well that the wicked witch will want them, then she sends Dorothy off on a dangerous trip without any help. And she tells her the munchkins will see her to the end of munchkin land, which is all of 15 feet. Well beotch! Big fat lot of help you are.

Aside from that, it was quite fun to watch the movie again as an adult.

So, OK, if you are stuffed with hay, why would you leave any of it? Dorothy and the Scarecrow leave a big pile of it in the road.

How many horses were used to be "a horse of a different color"? The walk and prance changed.

Wikipedia says the bad witch was burned in the special effects of her taking off (the puff of reddish smoke and flame, I suppose).

It is quite a fun movie to watch, and more so on the big screen, giving it the forum it deserves.

Quite a fun night for all of us.

Thursday, August 14, 2008


MyFella has got himself hooked on Coke rewards. (If you have any rewards off bottle tops or 12 packs, feel free to email them). He started doing it on a lark, and has now built up to 5,000 points. He first wanted a t.v. and the Faberware skillet set. The t.v. has long been out of stock, and the other day we got an email that the skillet set was running low. I told him to order them. He emailed me and said he couldn't. Apparently he's too addicted to raising his points total. Then they ran out of skillets so he couldn't get them anyway. I've been kind of annoyed.

Until last night at W-M, when I realized the 3 piece, non-stick, Faberware skillet set is only about $26. Guess what he's getting for his birthday next month.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

ghosts of birthdays past

Heralds of the season to come

It has started. I love it. Whatever else my life may have at the time, I love the signs and portents. The light changes in a way I can not describe, but I know it when I see it, as if it has a slant to it, a tint, a modest hue. The cicadas sing. There is a difference, even when the temperature tells you otherwise. The differences herald the beginning of the school season, the time when students sweat in lines for the classes and the p.e. practices and the football season begins. And this, my friends, precede the date that should be a national holiday known as "My Birthday."

How odd that the beginning of school should always, always, remind me of my birthday. Primary color balloons, yellow cakes, presents. It is a day of great magic to me. Still is.

September cometh. You got plenty of time to buy gifts!

Almost 40 years old

OK, OK, 38 and I'll be 39 next month.

MyFella is the guy I've (consistently) dated the longest (either 2 years, or 2 1/2 years depending on how you want to count it). I have never before taken a guy home. It's been decades since I've taken a girl home, and one time a guy came to see me. But that was a very long time ago.

I took him home. No fanfare. No calls ahead. He asked more than once in the last week, "Did you tell them?" Uh, no. I'm not giving anyone any time to THINK about anything.

My dad? I think he likes him more than me. Oh yeah, sure, it's just because MyFella rides horses and loves anything western. But still, my dad is a little on the ornery side. He's not taken by many people. But if you want to discuss who is a better movie cowboy, Gene Autry or Roy Rogers, you are apparently 'in like flynn' whatever that means. And all the better that you can talk about the different kinds and colors of horses, and you'd just as soon spend Sunday afternoon watching an old Western as anything else.

And the rest of the family? Guess who helped cooked burgers AND helped get the kids rounded up to play football at the nephew's birthday party? Yeah, him. There were these flags and tires and things and I just had no idea what they were for (duh on me, it's not like I've never watched a movie with a scene about football training, it just didn't dawn on me that's what this stuff was for) and MyFella just put them in two lines and took them to practicing/playing/competing for about 15 minutes and then rounded up the gang on the field to break into teams and play ball.

It's one thing for your friends or your family to like him better than you. But both? That's a bit much, come on. I feel The Universe laughing at me.


At the insistance of MyFella, we took all my laundry to the laundrymat today. $3.50 for a big washer and $1.50 for a regular sized one, then a quarter for 8 minutes in the dryer. About an hour and a half later, we had most all of my laundry for the past several weeks done. (I tend to let it pile up, then separate it all into bags. So I have a laundry bag full of dirty whites, a separate one for boxer shorts, a separate one for socks, etc.)

That's a bit of people watching. I had done it years ago and forgotten the unique mix of humanity. Like I couldn't figure out the dryer (though it was incredibly easy) and this guy of probably Hispanic descent pointed and pushed a button I got the feeling he couldn't speak English, but he could tell I didn't know how it worked. I smiled and said "Thank you."

Mix of young and mature, white, black, Hispanic, male, female. It's interesting.

of the day:

Weirdest dream: That I was attending a reunion of neighbors from my childhood neighborhood. We were in an indoor pool atrium, and I was instructing everyone where to stand (on steps leading down to the pool area) for the group photo. I remember thinking that, by standing on the steps, I wouldn't have to worry about who was taller, shorter, etc.

Worst comment about someone I don't know: She said, "I just want to die." About a lady in a nursing home where a friend had finished a shift as a nurse.

Worst comments about someone I do know: "She's kind of mean. Has a 'thick tongue.' Sometimes I try to sneak in and check on her without her seeing me." She was a wonderful, fun, light hearted lady. Quick to bake, and known to be just a wee bit nosy, but she was not discriminatory in that way. She'd call any house that had a car in the driveway she did not know.

Thing I should have done: Just stopped by my brother's on the way out of town to say bye. (They read the blog. I did not delete history after using their laptop one night. So I won't comment further).

Funniest Texts:
Inbound: Photo - looks like a bumper car
Outbound: Who is that?
Inbound: re re
Outbound: Where
Inbound: Pizza place yaw want us to bring marissa home after
Outbound: I don't know anyone with that name Are you sure you're texting the right number
Pause, about ten minutes
Inbound: My bad

Sweetest thing: MyFella stayed later than he wanted to go with me, at his insistence, to the laundrymat and got all my stuff done.

Best meal: Mom's crockpot pot roast. Her pot roast is almost always spot-on. This one was real good. Falls apart with a fork. Meaty flavor. Potatoes get brown. She made sweet tea. Usually she asks me now and I go for unsweet and just use the blue stuff, because, you know, "border line diabetic" and all that crap. But I got to admit, sometimes (often) the best thing in the world, especially with a real homemade meal, is Mom's sweet tea.

Most annoying: Tiny little gnats jumped from over ripe bananas to house plants. The damnable things won't die! My Raid "House & Garden" spray just slows them down. I don't know what to do!

Saturday, August 9, 2008


Wish me luck. MyFella is going home with me today for my nephew's birthday party. I haven't really thought this out, we're just doing it.

Friday, August 8, 2008


My current biggest annoyance is people who just won't say, "I'm sorry, I have plans."

My friend stuck in the divorce asked her daughter a few weeks ago to please make plans for last night, as it was her anniversary, arguably her last ever, and she wanted to not be stuck at home. She wanted to go out with a friend or friends, her daughter, etc.

Whether it's right or wrong, whatever, it's what she wanted. Daughter was all "yeah, yeah, we'll have fun." I get the call last night (oops, I had forgotten too) and she wanted me to be her date for drinks with her daughter and the daughters boyfriend. I said, "I'm going to be hungry, so we need to plan food."

Friend was all dressed up when I got there. She'd borrowed a cute blouse and had one tight jeans and good shoes. And a few calls later, it was clear that daughter didn't really care and didn't really care to be involved. They were going here, or maybe they were going there, and they were going with these people, and that girl, etc. But, yeah yeah, come here with us.

Sure, we'll drive an extra 25 minutes out of the way to sit in a restaurant where you can ignore your mother. That made for a wonderful night out.

Just tell your mom no. Or I'm sorry. Or whatever. But I got news for you- continuous texts and messages about how much you would like to see her, without actually making any effort to see her, yeah, she can see through that. Ugh. Eyes rolled to the back of my head.

P.S. A few hours later: I called the daughter about a potential surprise I'm working on, and she confided in me that she doesn't like being with her mother when her mother is like out on the town. Well, duh. lol At least now I know and can work to avoid those evenings.

Greatest Regrets

one of my greatest regrets is that Agnes Moorehead never knew me.


Someday I'm going to take 10 minutes to learn how to link back to one of my own postings, or to anywhere else for that matter. In the meantime, I'm just going to remind you that I once posted about those horrible Red Robin Gourmet Burgers. Well, I have met their match in the chicken category. Buffalo Wild Wings. I had my first and hopefully last taste last night.

My first problem? They came out way too fast for me to believe they were fresh cooked for me. In fast food you want food fast, but in a place where you disappear to the back, I want to at least pretend the food's not sitting in a great big bucket already made. (Exception would be buffet or meat and 3 kind of places where obviously they have to make a big pot of mashed potatoes). But at someplace that's similar to a Chilli's or whatever, I want to think that you cooked my food when I asked for it.

My second problem? The many sauces to choose from idea is good, but the sauces should actually be good. We had parmesan garlic. Since we like parmesan and garlic, it seemed like a good choice. Blech!

My third problem? Well, it's subjective, but isn't everything. How much sauce is enough, and what is it supposed to do? Enhance and improve the flavor? Overpower? Just be a big gooey mess? Ugh!

There's just nothing good about this place. I'm not even going to try.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Text messages

Two favorite text messages I received from one friend lately:

"Remind me not to get my toe nails painted clear and wear flip flops before going to a redneck gay bar with black lights! TRAGIC!"

"At the George Michael concert in Miami! Lord there is so many fags here!"

Yep, that's my friend.


At MyFella's:

Breakfast Saturday: polish sausage sliced and skillet fried, potatoes sliced and fried, cheese toast and biscuits.

Lunch Saturday: Tuna salad with chips. Fresh made tea

Supper Saturday: Homemade chicken and dumplings. Potatoes, quartered and baked with cheese and bacon bits.

Breakfast Sunday: His mother's homemade biscuits with homemade preserved of figs and blackberries.

Under the category 'Things I enjoyed, but don't ever need to do again' ~ go to a community center (Southern communities too small to be a real town will often have fundraisers to build a community center for their local clubs (gardening, quilting, etc.) to meet and to have political and social functions) for a blue grass concert. Three blue grass bands from the South. Fiddle, banjo, upright bass, guitars, etc. It was good, in it's own unique way.

Best $5 I ever spent: Plastic lunch box, Thermos brand, with a Batman decal on it. You know, they're not like they were BITD, pressed metal where one side had the good guy raised up in an outline. But still, Jamie loves it and has been holding it since we bought it yesterday.

Saturday, August 2, 2008


For better or worse, it is my hometown.