My friend Bubbles said to her husband recently, “I don’t like Midtown. You don’t like Midtown, you just like to say you like Midtown.” With basic understanding of the English language, and understanding what Midtowners like to believe they are, I understood what she was saying. But today, I lived it.
Aside from the fact that Midtown apartments like mine have “charm”, which loosely translates into built 1970’s and prior (mine has two windows sealed shut and one repaired with plexiglass). Here are two examples of “Midtown.”
It’s the patio at my favorite pizza place. Is that really somewhere that your dog belongs? Should a waitress really have to bring you water for your dog? If it’s against the health codes to have your dog inside the building, why is it any different on the patio? You have the dog – keep it the fruck at your house or take it somewhere that is generally considered animal friendly – like a big open park. But not to a restaurant.
And speaking of the park, my bad for not realizing today is Earth Day and there would be monster sized crowd there. I get that the place will smell like incense and patchouli*. But do you really think that no one notices that it’s pot you’re smoking because after you take a drag off of it, you hide it behind your back? Hello? What about all those people behind you? Do you think it’s a natural pose to have your arm stuck that far back? Do you think the patchouli scent of the unwashed person 6 feet down masks the scent of your burning weed?
I’m beginning to wonder if I really like Midtown, or if I just like to say I do.
On a slightly different, yet similar note: In the slow moving traffic of people driving out of the park, why did it bother the blonde girl that the passenger in the car ahead of hers kept opening his door? They were going slow enough he could of stepped out and walked. The next car in front of him was just as slow, so it’s not like he was slowing anything down. And did she think at that speed, yelling “SHUT YOUR DOOR RETARD!” was really polite, or keeping in the spirit of Earth Day, or even smart considering he looked like a thug who wouldn’t be scared of her?
And how about the guy in the left turn lane in front of me, who decided he really wanted to go straight. Which wouldn’t bother me except, with all the traffic in the going-straight lane next to us, I lost time when I could have turned left, just sitting behind him, waiting. Dork.
You know, I just had to cut short my walk, my attempt to do a 20 minute brisk walk to see handsome shirtless guys to help my health in the park. I think all it did was raise my blood pressure.
On a happy note, I ran in Macy's today to use my Goldsmith's gift card (oh, remember the post from a couple of months ago?) I decided that, after my party last night where I was practically cookware-less, I could use that money to get some cookware. Uh - wrong. Have you seen the price of cookware at Macy's. That stuff ain't cheap. Even the cheap stuff is $100. So I had decided on a set of stainless steel mixing bowls. Because you know, I really don't have any mixing bowls either. But then on a lark, I asked the lady if "those sets over there ever went on sale." She said, "They just went off sale yesterday." aaaaawwwwww. But she checked the flyer for the sale this Thursday, and the stainless steel starter set goes on sale for $30. I think a starter set sounds just fine, since I'll just be starting to cook! So I can buy that and the mixing bowls with the gift card. She said I can come after work, they never sell out. I'm quite excited.
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Now to think of what to get MyFella when he graduates in two weeks with his Associates degree in I.T.
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* A favorite bumper sticker seen a few years ago: Patchouli is not a substitute for soap.
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