Choosing

I want to blog about this while it is still on my mind, with the intent to someday share it with my friend in L.R.

You know how sometimes, you get a "sense" or a "feeling" about people and things? Tiny snapshots that are the way you interpret things about them and their lives. I got a feeling about L.R. and her husband when I was there last week. Very distinct, and very specific to them.

You know, sometimes with committed/married/dating couples, you get a sense of them "struggling." Just struggling to stay together, struggling to make it. Sometimes you get a sense of them "fighting." Fighting to stay together, fighting to make it.

With L.R., it was different.

Now, the background is, they both have decent jobs and decent pay. They live in a beautiful home, new build, adjacent to a golf course, they drive late model but not brand new cars. I've met her husband several times and always think he is real nice. Not necessarily someone with whom I have a whole lot in common, but someone I think always offers me respect and courtesy. I think he is "hosting me" in his home, but he is genuinely pleased to have a friend of his wife's in their home. The friendship is truly with her, but he places no barriers on it. I like him, and always have, what little I know him.

This trip, I got the oddest sense of them "choosing" each other.

I'll try to explain.

Both in their late 30's headed to 40, they are still attractive, but none of us are 20something attractive. He's (finally) got a wee belly, and she's given birth to 2 children. But I am sure there are plenty of the opposite sex (or same) attracted to both of them. I don't think they are resting on some big money pit, they don't seem to live too lavish (I know nothing about their finances), they live nicely but not extravagantly, and they love those boys of theirs.

When I was around them, I just got this sense of them "choosing" each other, choosing a life with each other, over and over and over. I have this sense that, maybe not consciously, and maybe not every day or even every week, but that they keep making choices to be with each other, choosing life options that will hold them together, choosing to maintain their vows, choosing to love their children, choosing to love each other. I don't know how else to explain it, I'm pretty sure I am not doing a good job of it.

If you've read the Adrianna Trigianni trilogy, how the main character, at the very end, finally figures it all out . . . . . . that's sort of the feeling I get from L.R. and her husband. That they already know it could be, could get tough, and they're already making the choices. Not just once when they said "I do", not just if/when someone hits on them, not just if/when they hit a tough marital time or a tough work week, but consistently, constantly, regularly, they choose.

I like that. I like them.